Lords, Ladies & Lurking Little Vices

Dearest Gentle Readers,

My name is Lady Eagle. Prepare yourself, for the eagle society is back and anew. You, my dear eagles, are in for a delightful read. Though every lord and lady craves to be perceived as virtuous, not one of us fits the mark. Invariably, the dirty little vices rush into us, battering in our stockings, and clamouring for attention. You, dear eagles, are not yet resigned to shudder at these clamourings. It seems, there exists an enigmatic new player in our world of controversy, the once-famed P.Diddy; now a desolate embarrassment to the rap community. Perhaps today, we may privilege ourselves in his misfortunes instead. 

Over time, every flower starts to rot, and P.Diddy is no exception. Once a famed character in society due to his splendorous parties, summarised by that well-known saying: “Ain’t no party like a Diddy party,”, we find that these parties exist as nothing but a masquerade to disguise Diddy’s vice. P.Diddy did unspeakable things at these events to thousands of young women with a hefty amount of baby oil-clearly, he’s an outstanding member of the community. I just adore when gentlemen like him are shown to have outstanding virtues such as gluttony and lust.

In contrast to these disgraces, the respectable Miss Millie Bobbi Brown has recently gone through nuptials with Jake Bonjovi, the expertly raised son of the famed musician Bon Jovi. Though fresh to the marriage market, at the ripe age of 19, she has already been enveloped in a typhoon of romance. I do love good news, but virtuous gossip is rather a bore. Even so, I will dabble in it, just for my dear Miss Brown. Miss Brown’s virtue is her steadfastness to her beloved, Lord Bon Jovi. Despite the public questioning her marriage at such a young age, she remains unwavering. Stay tuned, my dear eagles, to see if Miss Brown’s decision to trust a man was an impeachable one. It rarely is in these trying times. Nonetheless, Miss Millie Bobbi Brown has always remained rather illustrious in society. Her secrets have never left the security of her home on Georgia Street. 

Unfortunately for poor Miss Blake Lively, she did not have quite the luxury. By this hour, the whole society is up in her bloomers, the fitting course for one who treats the people around her so questionably. The largest roses have the sharpest thorns, dear readers. Every day arises another horror story of the brutish words and nasty manner she subjects people to in her presence. In many publicized interviews she's engaged in as of late, she has unreservedly abhorred the questioner, indubitably treating them like vermin. Let us remember, Miss Lively, that you are not the queen. She is balancing rather precariously on a line between virtue and vice. Where and when is her unvirtuous lack of kindness acceptable? Why do we accept it at all? After all, she’s married to a kind lord, by association, she must be virtuous too! It’s reminiscent of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. What an agreeable couple. 

As the year unfolds, it can feel like we are stuck in a cacophony of horror. But as of late, one in particular has been gracing us with moral behaviour. Miss Anne Hathaway, the ageless angel, has been recognized for her many virtuous contributions to high society. This past fortnight she’s been praised for her impeccable ability to avoid being the subject of gossip. No covert unions, no questionable fashion decisions, no exposé of immodesty, or so we know of. Her grace and compassion mould her as a diamond in society’s sea of feces. Feces that smell awfully similar to P.Diddy.

Now let’s not forget, that vice does not have to be the contradiction of virtue. One can have both. Everyone has at least one dirty little vice, and I’m listening for yours, dear readers. P. Diddy was once highly respected and Miss Brown was once slobbered in public disdain. Miss Lively was beloved a few weeks past, and Miss Hathaway has survived an expose of vice. Obviously, we hold fast to public taboos when an individual commits a heinous vice. Because, obviously, we mind what morals our elite depict. Obviously.

As always, your lady will stay vigilant for more vices whispered in the false security of night. Remember to stay virtuous, my dear readers, because your vices will always come back to haunt you. Especially when you think you’re secure.

Yours Truly,

Lady Eagle