My friend asked me to join his group, but I’m a bit reluctant as he doesn’t care about his grades. What should I do?

Written by Chan N.

“I'm currently in a history class with an upcoming project where we have to make a documentary and students can choose their group members. My friend asked me to join his group. However, I’m a bit reluctant as he doesn’t really care about his grades and spends most of his time skateboarding and playing video games. I feel like if I let him into the group, it could put extra pressure on my other group members. But if I don't, it could also put pressure on our friendship. What should I do? Is it ethical to exclude certain classmates from a group project or team based on their perceived lack of skill or popularity?”

Deciding who to include in a group project is a tough call, one that often leaves us balancing the desire for success against the principles of fairness and inclusivity, key grounds in educational environments. While there are valid arguments for both sides, it’s essential to navigate this situation by considering the ethical landscape with care and empathy.

Something you should keep in mind, especially in educational environments, is that inclusivity rests on the idea that every student deserves an equal opportunity to participate and learn. Group projects, particularly in an academic setting, are designed not only to access knowledge but also to cultivate skills like teamwork, communication, and problem-solving. By excluding someone based on their perceived lack of skill or popularity, you might unintentionally deny them the chance to improve their skills and learn from the experience. And who knows? Maybe you might discover your friend’s secret talent; after all, each individual brings their own unique perspective and set of talents to a group. 

In fact, I was in a similar situation as you before. While my friend wasn’t into skateboarding, he shared a similar passion for video games and a similar negligence for academics. My friend developed a keen eye for editing videos as he posted his clips online through various social media platforms. It turned out that his skills were highly beneficial for our group who could do everything but edit videos. Since your friend is also passionate about skateboarding, there is a possibility that he could be even more experienced in editing videos. In Singapore, you can see all kinds of skateboarders, ranging from beginners to advanced, recording each other so that they can edit and post videos on social media. So who knows? Maybe his talent could translate into valuable contributions in terms of creative input. 

However, it’s also reasonable to acknowledge your groupmates’ concern that your friend’s seemingly casual attitude towards academics might impact the group’s performance, atmosphere, and overall grade. It’s a valid worry, considering that the success of the project depends on the collective effort of all group members. 

Yet, this argument fails to consider the potential for personal growth and responsibility by giving such “casual people” an opportunity. Being part of a group with dedicated members might inspire your friend to rise to the occasion. People often perform differently in group settings, especially when they feel their contribution is valued and necessary. So, instead of assuming he will not contribute effectively, providing him with a specific role that aligns with his skills, like his potential video editing ability, might foster a sense of responsibility and engagement. 

Before making a final decision, you should consider having an open and honest conversation with your friend about the situation. Remember, being a friend doesn’t just mean enjoying the good times together; it also involves supporting and challenging each other to grow, and this could be a pivotal moment where you help your friend realize the importance of commitment and teamwork. 

While it’s important to be mindful of the group’s overall success, ethical and educational values lean towards inclusivity and giving every student a fair chance to learn and demonstrate their ability to contribute to the team. Your friend’s unique skills, potentially untapped in a traditional academic setting, might just be the asset your documentary project needs.